This is the first post in my Mindset Reset Series, which explores a set of mindset shifts that can help cultivate an antifragile mindset – one that helps you thrive on challenge and spark positive change in your life.
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Last week, I ran my first experiment for Bold New Quests.
It wasn’t flashy or high-tech. No fancy tools. Just breathwork, a journal, a few guided meditations—and my full attention.
Why? Because I realized something: I didn’t want to keep reacting on autopilot to life’s curveballs. I wanted to be more intentional. And to build a truly antifragile life, I needed to strengthen one foundational trait—self-awareness.
So I ran a 7-day self-awareness experiment with a simple hypothesis: if I paid attention to my thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in real-time, I’d stop being so reactive and start being more grounded and intentional.
Here’s what happened.
🧪 The Setup: My Personal Awareness Lab
Each morning, I’d ground myself with breathwork and a short meditation. I used breathing techniques including 4-7-8 breathing and box breathing. I’d set a daily awareness intention, something like “Today, I will notice when I feel emotionally activated.”
During the day, I logged one emotionally charged moment using the CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) Triangle—a simple tool that maps how thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are connected. Then at night, I’d reflect in a journal, score my awareness on a 1–5 scale, and note any patterns.
Simple. Repeatable. And surprisingly revealing.
🤯 What I Noticed: When the Inner Narrator Takes Over
Day 1 opened my eyes to my mental reality.
The city suddenly announced we’d need to move our cars off the street for repaving. My first reaction? Complaining. Venting to my neighbor. Feeling indignant. I didn’t pause, I didn’t breathe, I didn’t reflect—I just reacted.
Looking at it through the CBT Triangle made something painfully clear: my mind creates narratives fast—some that are unnecessarily negative. Sure, the situation was annoying, but the story I told myself (“They’re doing this to us on purpose!”) only made things worse.
This kept showing up in subtle ways throughout the week.
😔 Emotions Are Information, Not Inconveniences
One breakthrough came midweek, when I journaled about feeling inadequate after publishing a blog post that didn’t get the response I’d hoped for.
I defaulted to self-judgment: “What if this work just isn’t good enough?”
But underneath that was something deeper. Inadequacy wasn’t just an emotion—it was a signal. A protector. It was shielding me from the risks I need to take, the deeper learning I need to do, and the vulnerable places I need to go to grow.
Naming the emotion allowed me to actually feel it instead of brushing past it. As psychologist Susan David says, emotions are data. They tell you where your energy is leaking—or where it wants to go.
😬 Autopilot Behaviours = Fragility in Disguise
On Day 4, I got called out.
I had judged someone unfairly, making assumptions without fully listening. A close friend gently pointed it out. My first instinct was to defend myself. But instead—I paused. Breathed. Listened.
And then something shifted. I realized that judgment is one of my default behaviors when I feel insecure or overwhelmed. It gives me a false sense of control. But that “control” comes at the cost of connection—and truth.
When I softened and got curious instead of judging, I could feel the pressure release.
🧍♀️ The Labels We Wear… and Outgrow
I’ve often told myself I’m not a social person. That I’m “introverted.” But this experiment made me question that label.
Yes, I need solitude to recharge. But that doesn’t mean I don’t crave connection. In fact, I deeply value meaningful conversations and miss my people when they’re far away. The real issue? When I’m contemplative or fatigued, I retreat. And then I slap on the “I’m just introverted” sticker like it explains everything.
That’s lazy. And reductive. I’m not a label—I’m a layered, evolving human.
💡 What I Learned
But I also discovered tools to disrupt these loops, live more aligned to my values, and achieve more desirable outcomes:
✅ Breath as a pattern interrupt
✅ Naming emotions to create space
✅ Reframing rigid thoughts to soften my stance
✅ Pausing before I assume
✅ Curiosity as a bridge to compassion
Most importantly, I realized I can choose how I show up. Even when I don’t feel in control of the situation, I can influence the energy I bring to it.
💥 A Tiny Bold Action (That Could Change Everything)
So here’s my next Bold New Quest: I’m committing to calling myself out when I judge too quickly or make snap assumptions.
I’ll use phrases like:
- “Wait, I just judged that situation without knowing all the facts.”
- “Let me pause before I assume what’s going on here.”
- “Sorry, I’m reacting—I need a beat.”
It might feel awkward. It might feel clunky. But that’s the point. Growth is clunky and uncomfortable.
And I’ll be watching for the telltale signs in my body—tight jaw, hot cheeks, shallow breath. Then I’ll breathe. Reframe. Redirect.
🧭 Final Takeaway
Here’s what’s real for me now post-experiment that I can take forward:
- My reactive patterns aren’t permanent—they’re just habits I haven’t challenged yet.
- Self-awareness isn’t indulgent—it’s strategic. It gives you leverage over your choices.
- I have the tools to influence how I think, feel, and act—and therefore, how I live.
If you’re feeling stuck in your own loops—judgment, perfectionism, emotional avoidance—try running this experiment yourself. Start with just one day. One moment. One breath.
You don’t need to overhaul your whole life. You just need to start noticing it.
That’s how you go from reactive to reflective. That’s how you build an antifragile life.
→ Want to try this 7-day self-awareness challenge yourself? Reach out and I’ll be happy to share my protocol with you.
